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calcifermagnet
03 August 2016 @ 11:48 pm
Should the smart little girl tell a story or a lie? With her eyes on the toy. She's a tomboy in the mirror. Watch her as she changes, she how she grows! Her cells are re-arranging, she'll need a woman's clothes! What are these UGLY changes? Jesus only knows!

- Toybox, Geraldine Fibbers, from the album "Butch"

I remember Fiona Apple speaking about her sexual assault right as puberty was beginning for her. She associated puberty with sexual assault, and therefore starved herself to be thin, and tiny, so she would not have breasts or a womanly shape - to prevent herself from being sexually assault again.

A lot of girls dealing with the same situation - hating their bodies, wishing they were men so they wouldn't be subject to sexual violence - are now being told they are trans and need to transition or they will kill themselves.

It makes me angry to hear de-transitioners who were never told that they could heal from trauma and learn to re-connect with their bodies. Makes me mad to hear that a 2011 study found 50% of transmen were sexually abused as children. Contrast that with homosexual women - they are abused at the same rates as heterosexual women.
 
 
calcifermagnet
25 April 2016 @ 09:45 pm
It's human nature to "Other" others. To have in and out groups. To see the world as "us" vs "them". I believe it's instinct, it's inborn in us.

That's why we have to fight against it every day, every moment, to recognize the humanity in others. This is one of the ways we can personally work to be less sexist, less racist, less prejudiced. To remember people are human and individuals, to resist the urge to reduce people to stereotypes.

To me, the mantra "don't tolerate intolerance" or "shut down people who don't agree with me without listening to them or trying to understand them" attitude is damaging and dangerous, because it means we stop seeing people as people. Fight against it. Struggle against it. I see so many "Social Justice Warriors" who do nothing but ostracize anyone who disagrees with them.

I'm an ACTIVIST. It's my job to change people's minds. I can't say "oh they are an X so I give up on them" or "oh they don't think like me they are INTOLERANT." Instead, I have to listen to them and try to come to an understanding of why they think the way they do. If I don't, I'm not an activist - I'm not changing people's minds.
 
 
calcifermagnet
26 October 2015 @ 12:07 pm
"Trigger" is a term to describe how someone with PTSD will come across something that seems completely benign... that makes their symptoms flare up. Someone with PTSD, once triggered, may be symptomatic for days, weeks, or months.

"Eggs" being an example of a Trigger:
https://thenib.com/trigger-warning-breakfast-c6cdeec070e6

Unlike "Trigger Warning Breakfast" - a piece written by a survivor of sexual violence - most books written by non-survivors have very little truth in them. They just perpetuate harmful stereotypes.

"Content Warnings" are used for movies and tv to help people decide if it's something they want to see. They aren't regulated by law in the US - the industry voluntarily agreed to 'Ratings' in order to avoid government regulation. We don't have content warnings on books because they aren't required, but, I wouldn't mind having them.

Fan fiction frequently takes non-explicit works and re-writes them to be sexual. Therefore, a fan of a work can easily come across something they weren't expecting. The fan fiction community started labeling fan fiction with "trigger warnings" - but let's face it, someone's desire not to read about characters they like engaging in behaviors they don't approve of are not the same things as someone's avoidance of triggers.

Because Triggers are things like the smell of eggs cooking.

So let's stop using "Trigger Warnings" and start using "Content Warnings".
 
 
calcifermagnet
23 October 2015 @ 10:19 am
Do I really have to post this? Isn't it a given?

Isn't it a given that when men scheme to pretend to be feminists, invade feminist spaces, and promote "free bleeding" - having a period free of tampons, cups, or pads - as an act of rebellion against the patriarcy....

AND IT WORKS... http://www.people.com/article/kiran-gandhi-period-runner-speaks-out

No, it's not funny.

When Anti-Women Activists say they'll 'pretend' to be transwomen just to cause trouble, for the LULZ, and then you a man with a man's name and man's clothing presenting in a masculine way demand the right to attend a Woman's college: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FI0iwMN8Zo

And you're left wondering: Is this a MRA or a Transwoman?

No, it's not funny. And yes, it's an example of Poe's law - is this real or parody?

Either way - it's pretty horrible. Calling it Poe's law isn't a value judgement.
 
 
calcifermagnet
23 October 2015 @ 01:32 am
When I was a child, I wanted to be a boy. If you had handed me a button to press that would have made me a boy, I would have pushed it.

But then I grew up. I realized that the "Male Gender Role Box" was an uncomfortable box too. What I wanted most was just to be a 'person' and not be told what I could, or could not do, based on the biological sex I was born with. Unfortunately, many things I like or wanted to do were a part of the "Male Gender Role Box" - and I've had to learn to take the heat of being a woman who does those things. It's not easy.

But changing my body through hormones or surgery wouldn't make it any easier.

Evidently - I'm not alone. Somewhere between 75% - 88% of children with serious gender identity issues that show up before puberty adjust by adulthood, most growing up to be homosexual, not transgender.

I've always been a big proponent of childhood body integrity. No circumcisions. No cosmetic surgery on intersex children.

So when I hear a family that believes strongly in traditional gender roles say "I knew my son was transgender when he was 2 and he liked girl's things..." I worry. Because he's more likely to grow up to be a gay man than be transgender.
 
 
 
calcifermagnet
23 October 2015 @ 12:49 am
I get sooooo tired of people trying to change your opinion... that you don't have or agree with. It seems the internet prevents one from asking for clarifications.

"The Sky is Blue."

"How dare you say the Sky is always blue, it's not blue at sunset, it's not blue at night, it's not blue when it's cloudy out and grey...."

VS

"The Sky is Blue."

"Do you think the Sky is always blue?"

"Of course not! It's more a theoretical/conceptual idea, not a statement of fact."

"Oh ok! Phew."
 
 
calcifermagnet
26 September 2015 @ 02:22 pm
We already knew Stonewall wasn't a major Hollywood release, and was an independent, privately financed film without a major studio attached. Estimates are it cost 14 - 20 Million. We now know how many theaters it's being released to:

129

Yes, only 129 theaters carrying this film. I will travel an hour to see it. I've heard others say they are traveling 3 hours just to see it.

It's being distributed by Road Side Attractions. Their highest grossing film of all time only made 21 Million, and it was released to 363 theatres initially, with a wide release following:
http://www.boxofficemojo.com/studio/chart/?studio=roadsideattractions.htm

This is what a film that is a "Labor of Love" looks like.

Yeah, you're not really 'sticking it to the man' by boycotting this film... ... more like kicking a puppy.
 
 
 
calcifermagnet
16 September 2015 @ 09:07 pm
END OF GENDER: REVOLUTION, NOT REFORM

http://dgrnewsservice.org/2015/09/16/end-of-gender-revolution-not-reform/

Breakdown of "Liberal Feminism" vs "Radical Feminism" and "Queer Gender Theory" vs "Radical Gender Theory".... amazing post.
 
 
calcifermagnet
12 September 2015 @ 09:25 am
This just fully explains the behavior of some people I've seen online. Tucking this here.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/201311/6-signs-narcissism-you-may-not-know-about